Boats and clams

The bigger the all-terrain vehicle, the more capable it is of being towed. The crossovers with their metrosexual grimaces rob the trailers. Plus, big-caliber SUVs make it easier to find an echo in the Russian heart. The scale, the distance is good, when from comic to tragic sometimes just one step. Bylinic horses of the 1990s, they rolled into the past after crimson jackets and massive gold chains. Some we still remember with great warmth. It's easier to imagine the epic Mercedes-Benz Gelaendewagen driving everyone off the road with a dagger high beam than with a towboat.

When imposing a fashionable role-playing game on an all-terrain vehicle, you should know that category «B» on your driving licence may not be enough. If the trailer is heavier than a tugboat and the total weight of the road train - that's the name of the tractor-trailer pair - is more than 3.5 tonnes, you will have to pass the exams on «E». As a «»result, the total mass of the towing vehicle without a trailer may also exceed the permissible gross vehicle weight for category «B» of 3.5 tonnes. If you find yourself on the road, conscientious officers of the new traffic police will gladly share with you the joy of an unexpected discovery.

It is especially worth examining the passport data of the pickups. This type is especially diverse, as well as an amazing ability to win hearts. You don't even have to put the offensive inscription «Fuck fuel economy»! to make everyone believe - here comes a man who has found great metallic happiness.

In America, pickups are worshipped like Indian totem poles.

Unparalleled case of the family cars Ford F-Series. For 29 years, they have been selling all passenger cars on the North American market. The fastest running model... F-150which does not require professional «rights»to manage. There are also extra heavy versions of F-450 Super Duty, which can tow a yacht that can overshadow everything and everyone in any «Admiral»near Moscow.

By researching American pickups, you gain respect for the dealer's profession. It is possible to get lost in a maze of additional equipment: only wheels to F-Series Super Duty are offered 19 variants! Who but a serviceable and all-knowing dealer will help you to stop at the right thing? The romance of the relationship with the dealer is also reflected in the names of options. A hatch in the roof becomes moonroof, and you can already imagine how you invite a girl together to admire the moon through a hole in the roof paid for by special tariff. A beautiful name is half of success. Defogger is only heated rear window, king cab - a large five-seater cabin with swinging doors, as at grandmother's closet.

By screening out unnecessary items, the market leaves exceptionally useful options, such as rearview mirrors with sliding telescopic arms. They are controlled by a lever from the driver's seat. Very convenient when you have to drag a large trailer with you.

How big can a ship be transported on the road? I will allow to deviate a little from the accepted course of narration, and I will tell about a kind of record, established in 1996 in Belarus. At that time a new commercial structure bought a 40-meter pleasure boat with 93 tons displacement to turn it into a floating restaurant. The boat was located on the Berezina River, and the restaurant was to be opened on Lake Naroch, more than a hundred kilometers away. Welcome back to the 1990's! Even Nikolay Ostrovsky's heroes would have been jealous of the persistence of the merchants of the time. At the Minsk Wheeled Tractor Plant, where special chassis for «Topol»rockets are made, the guys asked for a transporter for a couple of days. MAZ-7907 intercontinental missile launcher «Well»done. A 100-ton rocket capable of breaking half of America was supposed to stand on a 28-meter12-axle chassis in a special transport and launch container. But perestroika came, and the powerful country voluntarily disarmed. The strategic transporter that was left out of business took a boat on its back... and left on the highway.

In one village they even put up an ad that would otherwise look crazy: The «shop is closed due to the passage of a boat».

Of course, transporting the boat across the territory to the water area is easier to entrust a professional. Even correctly securing the cargo to the trailer is not an easy task. How much you need to tighten the belts, screw in the locking bolts, connect the connectors and safety chains!

Besides, if somebody decides to drive the trailer on his own one day, he will face the peculiarities of control. The road train turns like a trolleybus«harmonica», and even worse. You reverse, turn the steering wheel, and the trailer goes the other way! It's fun to park with Bentley and Maserati.

Published in YACHTS magazine #37.